Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
