I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
