Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
