I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize