she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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