Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
