I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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