Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Randomize