we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
This toilet bowl is my home.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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