Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
