My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I am available for nakedness
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
