Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
