Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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