omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
