I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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