Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
