super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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