His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
