"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
