Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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