You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
