ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
