I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
worst night to have a conscience
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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