D3 body, D1 cock
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
