you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
