Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
