The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
