in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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