I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
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I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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