What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize