Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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