He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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