what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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