i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
