I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
