and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
