I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
