two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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