Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So squirting runs in the family.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
