I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
