My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
