made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
