I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
