Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
