I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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