You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
