i don't like sucking hair
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
