We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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