Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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