i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
