Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
