I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
