I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize