There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize