She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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