it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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