Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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