someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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