I wish I could punch you in the face.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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