i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
