32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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