I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She tied me up with her honor cords...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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