Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
