Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
