Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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