she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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